Buzzing Noises in HQ
by jesterinblack
Summary: What happens when Roy Mustang makes Ed go to work with a... special 'toy? Or when Havoc and Breda happen to notice a remote control on the Colonel's desk and start to play with it?


**Just some random story I thought of at 3 in the morning, which happens to be right now.**

**Sorry for not updating on my other story, 'Comforting Times' but I'm going to update soon, really. Im just having trouble deciding what to put in that chapter and what to save for the next. Oh also, im curious. What do you guys think of the image i put on this story? It's Sheska, and I drew it xD. I actually like it. My DeviantART is on my profile if you guys want to see my other drawings (even though they're not that good).  
**

**Until then, I hope enjoy this.**

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Damn him. Damn him, damn him, damn him.

God damn Roy Mustang.

The bastard of the universe.

This is what you get for being in an illegal relationship with your commanding officer.

But why, why god, of all things… did he have to stick a vibrator up his poop shoot?

Yes, a vibrator, which he leaned over and stuck in last night right when Ed was still on his pleasure-high from a thorough pounding.

And of course, he threatened no sex and no new leads if he took it out.

So he agreed to keep it in.

And now here he was, in Central command in Mustang's office sitting on his leather couch just waiting for him to flick the fucker on again for the 15th time that day.

"You ok, Fullmetal? You look a little… shooken up." Mustang smirked as he yet again, turned the flip up to medium to play with it by lowering it up then shooting it up to high.

All Ed could bring himself to do was glare, he didn't think he could trust his voice to not stutter.

Eventually Ed had fallen asleep on the sofa, and Mustang turned the remote off for the sake of being slightly humane.

It was now about lunchtime, and everyone in the office was gone except for Mustang, Havoc, Breda and of course the now sleeping Edward. They didn't get to take their breaks for another hour.

Mustang got up and stretched his legs after walking in front of his desk.

"Im going to get a water bottle. Be right back."

Havoc and Breda nodded and continued their work.

Breda happened to look over at his Colonel's desk when he noticed a bright red remote with a knob on it.

"Huh. Wonder what that is on the boss's desk."

Havoc looked over and noticed it too. He walked over to the desk and picked it up.

"Huh. Wonder what it does." Havoc remarked as he switched the dial on.

They faintly heard a buzzing noise and Edward shifted a little on the couch.

He turned it up higher as the buzzing increased.

Ed's eyes shot open as he was jerked away by the sudden.. feeling going on.

He looked over frantically seeing Havoc and Breda flipping the switch on and off then higher and lower repeatedly managing to drive the blonde insane.

"What the FUCK are you doing?! Where's Mustang?!"

Breda flipped it up to high once again. "Calm your tits, lover boy. Your boyfriend'll be back in a minute he just went and got water."

Ed sighed and tried to still himself. They were fairly surprised to learn that the office new about their um.. *ahem* relationship, but I guess you couldn't be too surprised considering the things that go on on the other side of closed doors.

Especially when it happens to be at the office.. heh.

Just then Mustang walked in. He raised an eyebrow at the scene before him. There were his subordinates, taking turns switching the dial on and off and to different settings trying to deciphere where the buzzing noise was coming from. And then of course, if you'd look to your right folks there would be a deranged short alchemist who looked just about ready to either hump the couch or kill someone.

Mustang smirked.

He could have fun with this.

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About a half hour later shows us all three of them- Mustang, Havoc, and Breda- all playing with the remote. Mustang had claimed he found the remote in front of his office and brought it in and was too trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

He couldn't help but smirk though whenever he would look at Ed who was now lying on his stomach on the couch panting into the cushions.

"Why, whatever's the matter Ed?"

They received no response, not that he expected to anyway.

They continued playing with the remote for another 20 minutes before Hawkeye came back in from her lunch break along with Falman, Fuery and Sheska, who had joined them.

"Alright Sirs, you may go to your lunch breaks now." Hawkeye announced. Edward looked up as if she had just saved his life and mumbled a few incoherent things before standing up off the couch and swifting back and forth a little before he straightened himself.

And boy oh boy, no one knew that the Fullmetal Alchemist could _fly._

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_**Review!**_


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